Cry Me a River

Letting go and letting flow…unexpected tears can be good for the soul

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Happy July dear ones! 

Like you and your busy lives, we are running on all cylinders at summer speeds here in the Hudson Valley. We’ve been graced with many blue skies, hot sunny days with glorious sunsets and cool nights to toss open the windows for delicious slumber. The wildflowers are in full bloom, the farmers markets are bustling, and the wildlife is very active. Aaaah the Catskill Mountains. 

All that summer glory aside, I don’t know about you — and I don’t know if it has anything to do with the stars, the Strawberry Moon, the New Moon, Mercury Retrograde or any of the disturbing news of late, but I’ve noticed that I’ve been crying a lot the past few months…much more than usual. And this weepiness has made me curious. 

I decided to not jump to cover it up or hide it, pretend I wasn’t feeling what I was feeling or even explain it. I decided to step back, stand in the corner and observe it instead and see what came up. 

I didn’t cry as a child, so I carried that with me throughout my life. Tears didn’t come easily, and I secretly harbored all the stigmas that are wrongly associated with crying — like it’s a sign of weakness, neediness or being a baby. I was tougher than that! So, of course, when the tears seemed to appear at almost every turn…it was a little unusual…shocking to be exact. 

Lately my eyes well up when I watch sentimental videos of any kind, cat Tik Toks, even sports videos with acts of kindness…you name it…the rims of my eyes are filling up. 

And I have to say I don’t think I’m alone. There has been a lot of unexplained crying going on around here lately. It’s not just me. I’ve had some of the most delicious, heartfelt conversations with customers in the restaurant that have ended up in spontaneous bursts of emotion — expressions of gratitude as tears ran down smiling faces. It was honestly quite beautiful. It always ended up in hugs. 

Sometimes we laugh because we’d realize that we didn’t really even know why we were crying…but we were definitely experiencing something together. When hearts calm, they swell and feel and cry — and connect. Happy tears are divine. 

I think tears get a bad rap. Whether they are ‘happy’ or ‘sad’ tears. They tell their own stories of endings and beginnings, celebrations and sadness — and everything in between.

We’ve all been through a lot these last few years and I think we’re still navigating and trying to find our ‘norms’. We’ve put on brave faces and tried to get back to business as usual, but what does that even look like? We’re all just trying to calm our over-stressed nervous systems.

Maybe we were all overdue for a good cry? And just maybe we shouldn’t vilify our feelings or analyze them…maybe we should just feel them? 

Yes, I’m in the hospitality business and I feel like I have the best job in the world — I get to nurture people. I feed them and aim to make them feel better. I get to watch their kids grow up, see their dreams take root, listen to their ideas, witness them have babies, get puppies, tell me travel stories and share their lives. But maybe we are supposed to share more than that?

Maybe we’d all be better off if we just allowed our tears to flow. Maybe if we shared more realness with one another we’d help each other avoid a lot of painful suffering in silence? There is such relief felt after a good cry. You know what…go ahead…cry me a river. I may not be able to make the circumstances better, but I can sit beside you and share something true…real connection. Maybe we’d all feel a lot less alone too? Besides, I don’t know about you, but I love the sweet smell in the air after a summer rainstorm…imagine that’s the way the soul feels too.

So, let it flow. Don’t hold back. See what comes up and out for you dear friends.

—Lea Haas, Owner, The Garden Cafe Woodstock