The Heat is On

Temperatures can rise in more ways than one — in the environment and in our emotions —  the key is in how we navigate it all and stay cool

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The heat is on.

It’s summer and temperatures have certainly risen here in the Catskills in more ways than one. We just escaped a pretty hot spell and then of course, we’ve entered into probably the craziest election season this country has ever seen (well, at least it feels that way to my nervous system).

I sigh and pray and try to greet each new day with an open heart and mind.

I look out of the expansive café windows onto the beautiful community space we call ‘The Green’ where there is a sweet park bench dedicated to the founder of the café, Pam Brown, where the bluestone patio is surrounded by flowers planted and tended to by volunteers, where you can set your clock on Sundays to 4pm when the drum circle begins drumming for peace — and where these days there are regular protests on all sides of the equation.

It's a lot of heat and a lot of energy. A lot of noise.

And let’s just say that elevated temperatures and heightened emotions don’t necessarily play well together. Neither does ‘othering’, fighting, shaming, wrong-ing, dividing, not listening...not forgiving...not loving.

I’m constantly finding myself navigating scenarios that could trigger me...or not. The choice is mine. I’m getting older, wiser and more intentional. Consciously working to keep my heart soft, gentle, accessible.

Besides, I’ve got a staff and customers and friends and community to love and support. And we’re all just human beings trying to navigate our own scenarios, experiences and feelings. We need each other. It takes a village.

Life will present circumstances; we have to present a response. And hey, I know that isn’t always so easy.

Talk about being hot and bothered. There is much that goes on behind the scenes — and much that can go wrong. On a recent busy Sunday when town was bustling with activity, it felt like everything that could go ‘wrong’ did: dish washer on the fritz, freezer down, fuse blown, toilet broken — you get the picture. 

It was the kind of day I wanted to throw my hands up in the air, scream “what next?” then go home and hide beneath the covers. We were stretched to capacity — how could my staff handle more? There were no repairmen available on Sunday.

So, I chose to take a deep breath, pray and improvise.

And I reminded myself that we WOULD get through these glitches — HOW we got through it would be a different story, the story we chose to create and tell. I had to lead the way by example.

The good news is that by Monday it was all fixed — and by staying calm I didn’t allow it to consume me and steal my day right from underneath me. It’s easy to see this in hindsight, not so easy in the heat of the moment but therein lies the lesson.

And I also see how life is always reiterating this message and providing me with scenarios to drive the point home.

I was recently reminded of the stunning ancient Hawaiian ritual of reconciliation and forgiveness when I needed it most. Funny how life works that way, isn’t it?

Ho’oponopono helps us recalibrate in a moment’s notice. It is part prayer, part practice — intended to help cleanse one’s mind and heart and to restore harmony and balance.

Its simplicity is stunning.

I’m sorry.

Please forgive me.

Thank you.

I love you.

Just recently I crossed the street and saw someone I’d been holding some strong feelings about (and let’s just say they weren’t great ones). But something was different with this person, she was in pain. I immediately softened and couldn’t walk by.

Sidenote: I think this is how God operates like an undercover healing agent.

I asked this person if she was OK? She wasn’t. She had a little accident and was in a lot of pain. I ran back into the café to collect a few of my healing remedies without allowing my ego to hijack the mission of my heart.

As I sprung into action I said the Ho’oponopono — for both of us because it wasn’t enough to just give her these items — I wanted to make sure that my humanity was intact and that my empathy could surpass my strong opinions.

There is so much medicine to be found in human connection and the dissolution of pent-up resentment. It’s like a breath of fresh air after an expansive exhale.

Out with the old, in with the new.

When I returned to the café, I started speaking to a customer who told me how she was visiting from Hawaii. She shared the work she does and how she studied with Master Teacher Dr. Hew Len. His work is world renowned for healing criminally insane patients by saying the Ho’oponopono for every patient without ever seeing them.

Coincidence? I doubt it, but beautiful synchronicity for sure. I was captivated by learning more about Dr. Len. It was like a wink from the Universe as if I could hear the whisper...Yes, stay on this heart-centered path.

I have thought of this prayer many times throughout the years, but often forget about it. This time, I wrote out the words and posted them behind the counter as a constant reminder for all who need it.

A few years ago, my daughter True was worried about a friend. I suggested saying the prayer. She said, “I don’t get it...why am I sorry? Why do I need to be forgiven? And why would I say Thank you?”

Good points.

You may be wondering the same.

Even when we are not responsible for the circumstances of another’s choices, even when we can’t control the outcome, we can connect in our humanity. We can share in our humanness — our joys and our sorrows. We can connect in our conversations, interactions, reactions and responses.

The context of the prayer is yours to write. There is great power to be found in this healing exercise.

I’m sorry

This begins with the acknowledgement of the situation — I’m sorry for what you are going through or for my role in causing any pain.

Please forgive me

Whispering these words gives wings to prayer. This humbling act opens your heart and cracks through the wall of your ego that blocks you. For example: Forgive me for judging you. Forgive me for holding resentment. Forgiveness is freedom.

Thank you

Thank you for allowing me to pray for you, to be a part of your experience, your healing — to see where I have caused you more suffering or not shown up in the world as I desire. There is great peace to be found in self-reflection.

I love you

Yes, this phrase can be tossed around gratuitously, but it is also the most validating, kind and generous offering — the most powerful words spoken. The layers of love can peel away our own shield and expose us to pleasure or pain. Love can break your heart or discover it. Love can be the safety net that catches one who is falling. Love allows us to see a person (and ourselves) through a new lens.

Consider applying these words, this prayer to your own angst and encounters — when you are most triggered or enraged — when you stand in judgement of another — when you are not being the soul you came to be.

Yes, my dear friends, the heat is on, but we get to decide how we will respond to it and to each other — and the world we collectively choose to create.

Try it yourself. Witness how your body, mind and spirit feel when you do — most of all how your heart softens and flows free.

—Lea Haas, Owner, The Garden Cafe Woodstock