The Invitation

Life can be complicated by differing opinions, but we can feed the divide or accept its invitation

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I have been a lot of things in my life...and I hope to become many more. I don’t know if I’d call myself a ‘seeker’ per se, but I hope I always embody the capacity for eternal curiosity.

To me it feels whimsical, exhilarating, inspiring...expansive — and like a thread of connection.

I love hearing stories from customers about their travels around the globe, envisioning all the places I still want to visit. I love learning about holistic modalities that others have discovered to conquer ailments. I love discovering innovation, art, creativity, nutrition, ways to care for our planet and our furry and feathered friends — from recipes to religion — there will never be enough books, conversations, experiences to satiate my thirst.

And I care greatly about people no matter the walk of life, no matter the belief, no matter the political affiliation. I care deeply about hearts and freedom of expression.

But I’m noticing something these past years...something that has seemed to ramp up enormously of late; it really isn’t safe to share opinions — and that makes me tremendously sad. 

In fact, it makes me a little scared. Not just for me, but for all of us because in this equation we all lose.

Particularly with this political environment (and don’t worry, I’m NOT going there), it’s less about the sharing of ideas and more of ‘what team are you on’. Hurry up! Pick a side, grab a poster, let’s start screaming at each other! In this scenario we all miss out on the opportunity to share ideas.

I think we can all agree that somewhere in the middle lies the truth. But how can we get to middle ground if we aren’t allowed to explore ideas, feelings, questions? 

In the starkness of frigid, gray winter here in the Catskill Mountains, the snowstorms, delays and power outages slow the pace and heightens my awareness. It’s when I ruminate upon many of these things.

I’ve been thinking a lot about my past and many of the choices and paths I’ve taken to here. I also roll my eyes and laugh as I do because I’ve dug in my heels and made many proclamations along the way.

When I was younger, I was prideful and needed to be right about my choices. It’s a way we convince ourselves of our choices and assuage our insecurities. Oh, the naiveté of youth!

And yet, I don’t regret the road to here and all that I’ve ‘sampled’. It’s how we become, how we find ourselves and discern our own ‘right’ and ‘wrong’.

As a child I was labeled by the public school system as being ‘stupid’ — and I figured that they knew what they were talking about, so I believed it for much of my life. No one bothered to discover that I learned differently. No one knew that I couldn’t read and as a coping mechanism I just smiled even though I often didn’t understand what people were talking about.

I had to claw out of that abyss over decades and shed that belief. I feel sad for that young version of myself, but her scrappy resourcefulness got me to this present moment (and btw, I’m a voracious reader these days!).

I’m not afraid to scream it from the top of my lungs when I don’t understand something. I don’t label myself; I lean in and ask questions...excitedly. It’s almost as if I’m feeding that little girl.

Sure, I’ve been arrogant about my religious beliefs or political positions in the past, but that arrogance and assumption is negative energy. It builds walls and barriers between hearts.

Today I have no shame in asking questions...

What does that word mean?

Oooh, tell me more about that?

Can you explain that to me?

I’m so curious about why you feel that way, do you mind sharing that with me?

It starts there. Questions open doors and hearts.

And still...the world feels prickly right now. I find myself feeling very cautious and sensitive — and slightly like a caged animal...sad. I’ll admit it makes me feel afraid at times and that young girl, scared to say the wrong thing, reappears. Trauma revisited, like an old sweater worn and riddled with holes that you just can get rid of.

I am afraid of saying something that will offend someone, that my sarcastic New York humor might be perceived as ‘too much’, that my encouragement to see things from a different point of view will upset another, that my rose-colored glasses are too rosey for some.

But I don’t want to let go of this vision.

So, I pray and I pray and I pray for all of us. Yes, even you who may even be judging me or think you know what I believe. I will not feed the divide. I will give thanks for this life. It is a privilege to be alive (even in this crazy time). I will remain committed to my curiosity. I will hold fiercely to possibility, healing and unification.

And in nourishing our community and all who walk through the doors of the café, may you be nourished and fed in a loving environment. May your heart be touched. May you be seen and may you feel safe. And may we hold onto hope that together we can hold hands and create the world of our choosing.

We are that powerful...together, a confluence of hearts and minds.

If we want to be a true melting pot of people, it starts with simmering in our difference of opinions, thoughts and ideas — celebrating our differences not fortifying our divides.

And I leave you with this beautiful line I heard during a podcast interview...and I will hold it in my heart for all of us.

"Civility is a sign of spiritual maturity."

—Lea Haas, Owner, The Garden Cafe Woodstock